Femme Faytale

-really really wants to rp-

-partner is busy and/or appears uninterested-

-mope for the rest of the night while trying not to actually let on-

I thought that might be a message from Fassy and I feel very ashamed for that brief flicker of hope.

So since I was feeling marginally better, I went to work.

It was okay.

I got a hug from a little girl with long dark hair wearing a purple sweater dress and purple sequin boots after she helped me bag.

And then on my break I get a text from my dad.

Foxxy, our youngest, three year old cat, was hit by a car and killed. She’d been missing since Friday, and Mom found her this afternoon by the fence opposite our house.

I bawled my eyes out, went to my parent’s house, cried more, hugged the older cats and chatted with my parents until I felt better.

So Dad’s going in for eye surgery again.

Apparently it didn’t work the first time? Idgi.

I’m supposed to get up at 8am to take my Dad in for surgery.

I should try to get /some/ sleep, but…

Had a dream that I passed out at work.

Not pleasant at all.

Sometimes I just wish I could curl up and just… watch the world go by, without having to participate. Today seems to be one of those days. I want to curl up with my cats and my laptop, and just ignore all the responsibilities I have outside.

And I have to remind myself, near constantly right now, that Ineedto go. I need to move. And it’s so hard that I want to cry and scream. But I’m going to do force myself to anyway. Because that’s what I’ve been told to do, as an adult.

I hate it. I just want to be left alone. But I can’t be, because I’ll get worse, and I’ll fade away, and I’ll die if I do that.