I legitimately want to reach through my computer and smack that ass.
“I’m running out of ideas,” Charles complained. “Every night, every night, someone makes a milk run, either it’s me or it’s him, and you’d think that would be the basis for a porno, right? Wouldn’t you think that? Milk runs at midnight.”
“Uh-huh,” Armando said, on the other end of the line. He sounded suspiciously distracted.
“So I’m thinking that rather than going to the refrigerator tonight in my usual pyjamas, I’m going to try wearing something else.”
“Good idea.” Armando still sounded distracted, but now he sounded a little breathless, too. What was going on over at Armando’s apartment? Charles sighed. At this rate, he was never going to get the advice he needed.
“What do you think, Armando? Maybe something tight?”
“Right,” Armando gasped. “Tight, yeah…”
Charles rolled his eyes. “Like jeans, say. Or leather pants.”
“Yes! God, yes—”
“Leather pants it is,” Charles said. “Always good talking to you, Armando.”
“Jesus, Armando, put the phone down already,” someone said, and the phone clicked off abruptly in Charles’s ear.
Well. There were worse ideas.
“He wore what?”
“Leather pants,” Erik said. “Who’s he fucking this week?”
“Nobody. At least nobody that I know of.” Raven squirmed closer to Erik in their booth. “So? Did you do something about that or what?”
“I figured he was just getting home from the clubs,” Erik said. He sat back and wrapped an arm around Raven’s shoulders. “Hank is here tonight, isn’t he?”
“He’s at the back of the room glaring daggers into your head,” Raven beamed. “Serves him right for spending three days in the lab without even calling me to cancel our dates— I got stood up twice! In three days! What was he thinking?”
“You’re asking me what men are thinking? I’m failing at that with my own roommate.”
Raven laughed and rested her head on Erik’s shoulder. “Go for broke,” she suggested.
“Break what, precisely?”
She rolled her eyes. “Get naked.”
“There are limits to how far I’m willing to go in order to make your boyfriend jealous, Raven…”
“Not with me! God!” Raven poked him in the side. “Next time you go on your midnight milk run, which, hello, how is that not a porno title?”
Erik let out a morose grunt. “Damned if I know.”
“Well, I’m just saying. Strip it down. He’ll have to get the message then.”
“I really do. Oh, hey, look adoring.”
Erik pasted his best adoring look on his face just as Hank arrived at their table. “Uh… Raven… hello.”
“Hank, have you met my brother’s roommate? This is Erik.” Raven patted Erik on the knee, loudly enough to be heard, even if Hank couldn’t see it. “Erik, this is my…” she paused briefly, “boyfriend, Hank.”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Hank asked.
“Sure.” Raven slipped out of the booth, leaving Erik on his own. “Remember my advice,” she whispered, winking as she took off with Hank.
“Right. Good luck to you, too,” Erik called after her.
“What was that…” Hank’s voice grew lower and lower as Raven quickly dragged him out of earshot.
Naked. Well, surely he couldn’t send a clearer signal than that.
Charles walked into the kitchen around midnight and gasped. Out loud. Embarrasingly enough.
Erik turned— just his head, leaving his shoulders, back, waist, naked arse, and legs lined in silhouette. He was holding the pitcher of milk in one hand, and he still had the slightest bit of a milk moustache.
“I…” Charles began.
Fumbling for words, Charles said the first thing that came to mind. “I think we should fuck.”
“Oh, thank God,” Erik groaned. “But can we go to a bedroom? It’s freezing in here.”
“I thought it was bad enough when I was wearing those stupid leather pants for you,” Charles admitted.
Erik shoved the milk back into the refrigerator and closed the refrigerator door. “Those were for me?”
“Well, of course,” Charles said, nonplussed. “Who else?”
“Definitely no one else,” Erik said firmly. He paused. “You did keep them, didn’t you?”
Charles laughed and pulled Erik into his arms. “You can peel them off me with your teeth, if you want.”
“Believe me,” Erik said, licking his lips, “I—” And if he had anything more to say, Charles swallowed it whole; he had better uses for Erik’s mouth, at long last, than talking.